A Reminder: My life is not a ballet performance

Lately, I've been feeling pressure for my life to be a beautiful performance.

I expect myself to be this graceful ballet dancer, who can (and must)! leap over every obstacle with a quiet landing and perfect form. 

Like an acrobat, I must be precise and impeccable. All the time. 

And, we both know that is not possible. 

Despite the fact that I have created such high expectations for myself, I've also committed myself in so many areas; I've expected myself to have consummate grades, a consistent and flawless exercise plan, to be the best daughter, an encouraging teacher, the most consistent friend, a healthy eater, a club leader, to do my best at (all four of) my jobs, and to finish every single day in an ecstatic mood with a clean room and a freshly made bed.

WHEW!

Just writing this down, I've realized that I've put my worth in all of these things. 

Yet my worth is truly embedded in NONE of these things.

Yes, being a good friend is important, but I will fail my friends.

Eating right and exercising is important, but my health will fail me.

Consistently having a clean room, and a smile, and perfect grades is commendable, but who is it for?

Ultimately I want to follow Christ, and put my worth in Him, but let's be honest...

I'm not always walking with Him. I'm walking my own path, and He's walking with me. He is waiting for me to lift up my head (that is shoved so deep in my planner with my own agendas) that I totally miss all that He's trying to share with me. He's trying to direct me, He knows how to get Home, but I'm not even listening to Him. 

And when I finally realize I haven't listened to Him in a while, I look up, and He is looking at me. 

Then, He gently takes my planner, and He closes it. In awe, I quietly watch Him as He speaks to me:

"Darling Daughter, I am here. Please, be with Me. I have planned to spend this day with you, and you haven't even spoken to Me. I am trying to tell you the adventure I have planned for you. But, if you want me to show you, you'll need to give me your agenda. Your plans are nothing compared to what I have planned for you."

And here I am,

Once again,

Giving myself, my worth, my plans, my life, back to my Maker.

I never know what I'll share when I start writing, but today He asked me to give this moment we shared.

xox

Angie

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