It evoked many emotions and pulled some feelings out of me that I didn't realize I was even feeling until that moment . So, because I am always asking questions to myself and the Lord....I started to thinking about the way I felt in that moment, and the way I have felt in the past. My theatre four conclusion? As ladies, we often put a HUGE importance on the way we feel, and that might not always be the best thing.
I am one of those people who is 100% feeling, and I often act on my feelings. After some prayer, and journaling...the Lord placed THIS on my heart:
Many times as women when we do not feel loved, we do not believe we are. (This is the ememy's favorite little trick to suck us into his lies)
That "feeling concept" goes for a lot of things, not just love. Often:
When we do not feel excitement within our lives, we think we are boring.
.....................wrong
When we do not feel hungry, we think we are dying (haha)!
......................surprisingly untrue
When we do not feel moved by something, we question its relevance to us.
...........................not always the case
When we do not feel God, we assume He is far away.
................This too my sister, is an absolute lie.
The truth is, we won't always feel God's presence. However, this lack of feeling does not mean He is absent. Our relationship with the Lord is not ALWAYS going to be this on-fire-raisin'-my-hands-overwhelming-joy feeling. Most of the time, it's not that at all. Even in the times of doubt, frustration, silence, confusion and devastation - He has called us to be still, and trust that He is God (Psalm 46:10)
Leading up to my trip in Africa, and even while I was there I felt spiritually dry and distant from the fire of Christ that had previously been stirring up in my heart. I went through moments of questions, and truly reflected on why I felt like my relationship with God resembled pulling a ten pound brick through the desert. I felt frustrated, but deep within myself I knew that even though I felt this way, God had not abandon me.
Fast forward to the end of the trip....Look at all God did. The Uganda 2014 trip brought healing to so many, including myself. Look at what the Lord did with a doubting heart! And continues to do through many others.
God has called us to be unwavering.
Mother Theresa, who cured countless and loved unceasingly, suffered moments of deep depression and spurts of extreme loneliness. In fact, she mentioned in one of her biographies that she only clearly felt God's presence two times in her life. Yet, she remained obedient and God used her to change our world.
Hang in there to what you know,
God has promised that all things work together for good to those who love and serve Him faithfully (Romans 8:28)
AND
If you follow him, and place your joy in God, he will give YOU the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
So sisters, - be encouraged! Be excited! Be refreshed! God has called YOU to greatness.....will you be unwavering even when it gets rough?
Know that I love you all, and that I am praying for you daily.
xo Angie
