Arise, my darling...

It was about ten past two and I was sitting in my kitchen hunched over my computer lifelessly as I sent out emails, filled out paperwork and payed bills. Routines. I was consumed.
Then a quiet voice stirred in my heart;
Come
I heard it at once. But, I had too many things to do. Before I could devote my attention back to my work, trying to pretend I didn't hear the faint voice grip my heart,
Arise, my darling
Come away with me

Normally, when the Lord tugs on our hearts to spend time with Him alone - excuses become quite easy to make up.
I would know, I'm always doing it.
I promise Lord, I will make time for you. After I eat. After I check Facebook. After the week is through.
After everything else, my King.  Its crazy what rationalizations the mind can come up with.

But much to my surprise, this time when He called... I went.

I stood up from my chair, and shuffled over to grab my shoes. Should I get ready? Fix my hair? Change my clothes? Will people see me?
Arise my beautiful one, come away 

So, I stayed how I was and grabbed my keys and left.
I was quiet, and for the first time all day I truly let the Lord into my heart. I started speaking to God, but then I stopped. And, I let Him speak to me. My heart was flooded with peace. All else was distant.
The wind swept across the back of my neck,
I am with you
The waves crashed against the sandy shore
I am for you

Sometimes, I'm so distracted with my own wants and my own plans that I forget the Lord is standing right outside my door waiting to show me the way. When things don't go my way I assume that God is long gone, when really He couldn't be any closer. I am the one unwilling to open the door.
As much as Christ wants to pursue us, He also wants us to pursue Him.


My beloved spoke and said to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come away with me." 
(Song of Solomon 2:10)

 xox Angie

Change: Renovation of my heart

I've always liked the change I could create, but despised the change that controlled me.

This summer, the latter change and I have become quite close.

Much closer than I could have ever imagined, actually.

I like consistency. I like knowing. I like being safe. I like being in control.

That's humans, I suppose. However, sometimes I get SO comfortable thinking I'm in control, it comes as a shock to me when I realize I'm not. 

Someone once told my mother that, change = improvement.  While I have some small disagreements with that, for the most part I find it to be true. Maybe the situation which I am moving into isn't an upgrade, but I am improving as a person because of the experience change gives me.  Change allows me to relate with others, and pulls down the barriers of comfort I have created around my self.

Imagine a group of miniature construction builders standing in the vessels of your heart; they are on the job of renovating your heart. They are pulling down sections you've been living in, and hammering in new sturdy steps and creating new fresh hallways. 

Of course, during the renovation - your heart is not on some type of holiday! The hammers hurt and pulling down the old walls creates a bit of a mess.  Even looking at the "construction zone"can be flustering, and is sure to give you some type of doubts.

But, once the renovation is done, once the change is done; everything is higher quality, stronger.

During my summer of frequent transitions, I'm constantly led back to God's word in Jerimiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

There is so much beauty in that.

Through change my heart slightly breaks, so eventually it may love deeper.  

xo Angie