Weekend at Camp Cherry Lake - Be still and know that I am God

For those of you who know me, you can agree that I’m always on the go. I lay out my clothes the night before to save time, I eat lunch while I’m running to pick up the kids I nanny for, and I am always pulling something new on my plate. At times it can be extremely tiring, and I constantly feel the Lord tugging on my heart to slow down.

Afternoon quiet time

This past weekend, I left my bubble of copious movement, and snuck away for the weekend to spend quality time with the Lord at Camp Cherry Lake, with 200 other college students.  The Catholic College group for FSU teams up with Flagler College and we take over about a dozen primitive cabins, and a beautiful lake for the weekend. Usually when I go on a weekend retreat, I pack for 23 people and their grandmothers. Seriously, I’m an over packer. This weekend, I knew I needed no distractions. Therefore, I packed light. No phone. No watch. No Make-up. No hair dryer. I was going to make sure that I was giving the Lord my full attention this weekend.

Katie and I after our Women's Session

“Be still and know that I am God.” - Psalm 46

This weekend, the Lord so very clearly whispered this bible verse on my heart.

I spent a lot of time this weekend resting in God. Sometimes I feel as though I need to talk to God constantly, but just being quiet and resting in Him is even more powerful. 

 I quietly said this prayer,  “Lord, I love you. Lord, I trust you. Lord, I need you,”  and then was quiet. God gave me so much peace, and He knew that in that moment that was exactly what I needed. 

One of my favorite parts about this specific retreat is Perpetual Adoration. Perpetual, meaning occurring for a long period of time, and Adoration means the act of adoring and worshiping. From 10pm-7am, the meeting hall served as a chapel and was candle lit. As Catholics, we believe that Jesus is present through the Eucharist. During Perpetual Adoration, the Eucharist is displayed and it is a time to pray, reflect, read your bible, or just rest with God. It is literally such a powerful experience! Friday night/Saturday morning, I randomly woke up at four am and made my way to the chapel, in my pj's. Even at four am, the chapel was filled with people worshiping the Lord. 

Things I did this weekend:

- Journaled Journaled Journaled

- Jumped off the diving board and into the lake, and found a baby turtle swimming beside me!

- Spent some quality time with the Lord through silence

- Prayed for my future husband and his faith journey

- Met a nun who was a former professional football player

- Built some incredible new friendships


xox
Angie

    

   

Morning prayer on the dock

Love, your Father

Dear Daughter,

You do not need a special reason to meet with Me.  Why must you always wait? I am always thinking of you, and I want you to draw near to Me. I am here waiting for you. Picture yourself as woman engaged to the love of her life. Together, you are preparing for eternity with one another, and your relationship should be stronger than ever. In your mind, you’ve repeatedly practiced your walk down the isle, and you’ve put such an emphasis on this day when you and your beloved are to be united. 

My darling that is how I want you to be as you anticipate meeting Me.

Your life on earth is like an engagement with Me, before we are united in Heaven. I am trying to pursue you, I am trying to spend time with you, and I am trying to show you the love I have for you. You must take this relationship seriously. I am not hiding Myself from you. I have made my heart available to You. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13) I want you to delight in Me. I want to have moments with you when you are not at your wits end, and I want to be the One you run to, not only when you need something. 

I know what you are thinking, my love. You don’t have time. I couldn’t possibly help you with what you’re going through. You will spend time with me, after you figure things out. Beloved. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Mathew 11:28) I am here with you, I am for you, and I am fighting for your heart. I adore you. When you awake in the morning, whisper My name. Draw Me close to you before the world can weigh you down. Then, throughout the day come to Me. In the small moments; in the grocery lines. On the way to work. In the chaos. In the monumental moments. Remember Me, daughter. I passionately created you; I know your detailed face and your precious heart.

Draw near to Me, and I will draw near to you. (James 4:8)

With love,

Your Father Jesus Christ 

Arise, my darling...

It was about ten past two and I was sitting in my kitchen hunched over my computer lifelessly as I sent out emails, filled out paperwork and payed bills. Routines. I was consumed.
Then a quiet voice stirred in my heart;
Come
I heard it at once. But, I had too many things to do. Before I could devote my attention back to my work, trying to pretend I didn't hear the faint voice grip my heart,
Arise, my darling
Come away with me

Normally, when the Lord tugs on our hearts to spend time with Him alone - excuses become quite easy to make up.
I would know, I'm always doing it.
I promise Lord, I will make time for you. After I eat. After I check Facebook. After the week is through.
After everything else, my King.  Its crazy what rationalizations the mind can come up with.

But much to my surprise, this time when He called... I went.

I stood up from my chair, and shuffled over to grab my shoes. Should I get ready? Fix my hair? Change my clothes? Will people see me?
Arise my beautiful one, come away 

So, I stayed how I was and grabbed my keys and left.
I was quiet, and for the first time all day I truly let the Lord into my heart. I started speaking to God, but then I stopped. And, I let Him speak to me. My heart was flooded with peace. All else was distant.
The wind swept across the back of my neck,
I am with you
The waves crashed against the sandy shore
I am for you

Sometimes, I'm so distracted with my own wants and my own plans that I forget the Lord is standing right outside my door waiting to show me the way. When things don't go my way I assume that God is long gone, when really He couldn't be any closer. I am the one unwilling to open the door.
As much as Christ wants to pursue us, He also wants us to pursue Him.


My beloved spoke and said to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come away with me." 
(Song of Solomon 2:10)

 xox Angie

Change: Renovation of my heart

I've always liked the change I could create, but despised the change that controlled me.

This summer, the latter change and I have become quite close.

Much closer than I could have ever imagined, actually.

I like consistency. I like knowing. I like being safe. I like being in control.

That's humans, I suppose. However, sometimes I get SO comfortable thinking I'm in control, it comes as a shock to me when I realize I'm not. 

Someone once told my mother that, change = improvement.  While I have some small disagreements with that, for the most part I find it to be true. Maybe the situation which I am moving into isn't an upgrade, but I am improving as a person because of the experience change gives me.  Change allows me to relate with others, and pulls down the barriers of comfort I have created around my self.

Imagine a group of miniature construction builders standing in the vessels of your heart; they are on the job of renovating your heart. They are pulling down sections you've been living in, and hammering in new sturdy steps and creating new fresh hallways. 

Of course, during the renovation - your heart is not on some type of holiday! The hammers hurt and pulling down the old walls creates a bit of a mess.  Even looking at the "construction zone"can be flustering, and is sure to give you some type of doubts.

But, once the renovation is done, once the change is done; everything is higher quality, stronger.

During my summer of frequent transitions, I'm constantly led back to God's word in Jerimiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

There is so much beauty in that.

Through change my heart slightly breaks, so eventually it may love deeper.  

xo Angie

Moment of Truth

I am going to be honest with you, my friends. I have been doing a lot of growing lately, and God has really been clear with me on my shortcomings! Like any serious relationship, a relationship with Christ is an every day commitment. Every morning is a new day, and a new day to recommit my love. This world is so vast, fast paced, often chaotic and quite distracting. Just committing yourself to Christ one time won't do it.

When I was reading the bible tonight, I stumbled into 2 Corinthians 12:10 - check it out, it says: Examine yourself, to see whether you are in the faith. 

In the faith, now. Not yesterday or 5 weeks ago. Every day I need to recommit. Every morning when I awake, I need to give my day to the Lord. Being a Christian is not a part-time job. It's everyday, it's a love story, it's passion, its beauty, it's commitment. 

So, if you think I have it all together - think again. 

You have it all, God. My heart is open to You. Use me to serve others, guide me to light Your path. Keep me close as I give You my heart again, today. 

xo Angie

Our first stop

With the wonderful Woody, writing this very post! :-)

As I take you through the journey of "this" joyful heart, there is a very important place we must stop. It is the place in each of our hearts in which we desire to be fulfilled. (I have been quite aware of this place in my heart for a while now.) Everyone deals with this place differently, but none of us go without it. It is part of our human fabric, and it lingers within us through the depths of our souls.

We all desire to be pursued and to feel like we belong. To be whole. To be happy. 

This often leads to us seeking through society, which most of the times points us in the wrong direction. Personally, I struggled with this for many years and still do from time to time. As a females, many of us seek to be fulfilled through romantic relationships, approval from others, or accumulation of "stuff"that society tells us we need. Yet after chasing all these things, we often feel emptier than when we started seeking.
So, how can we truly fill this ever-aching desire to be truly fulfilled? Well ladies, let me tell you; I have searched all of those places (multiple times), but I've only found one that has fulfilled the deepest desires my heart. God.

You may already know this to be true, or you may think I'm pathologically crazy. Either way, I'd love to be your friend. So welcome to my blog! Grab a cup of tea and put your feet up, as we embark together through the journey of this joyful heart.

xox Angie